On Twitter Derren asked “Tell me something genuinely funny you were doing when you were ten” – below is our favourites that really made us chuckle.
At 10 a piece of broken pencil lead with bit of wood attached appeared in my mouth. I had jabbed it in my cheek when 5.
sent ‘test’ as a test sms to my 10yr old son’s phone. Instant response – ‘icles’.
Cryied because my brother stuck national spastic society stickers all over my wardrobe and room and couldn’t get them off.
I used to get overexcited whilst playing video games – punched a friend when jerking the joystick about..that’s not a euphemism
When i was 10 i used to stick a ball of toilet paper up my arse,run around the house saying im a bunny rabbit.it wasnt enjoyed
i went to a school party dressed as michael jackson in full latex mask and performed to Thriller. Noone else was in fancy dress
When I was 10 I had a secret box with a vampire kit in such as fangs/cape. I used to wear it when I was alone in my room…
I told my sis if she didn’t poo every hour it would back up and come out her mouth, she moved into the bathroom bed et al…
When I was ten I tried to stick stamps on my sister and post her… I didn’t get far before my mum stopped me
I was given a Personal Attack alarm (rape alarm) by an Aunty for Christmas when I was 10. No idea why!
” Mum, I’m reading a great book, it’s like the main character is Dad!” ” what is the book Meg?” ” The Tw*ts”
Made a trampoline of sheet secured by plantpots at bottom of stairs. Made younger brother jump from top stair. He did – head 1st.
I did a handstand, but landed one of my hands into a massive pile of dog poo. It was like diarrhea dog poo as well!
Scamming my 7 year old sister out of her pound coins by convincing her a 50p was worth more because it was physically bigger 
I was keeping a collection of page 3 pictures torn out of the sun newspaper under my carpet
This is sad but I used to force myself to wet the bed and get upset just so I could stay up later and watch F Troop. Shame.
“Our favourite tweets of yours”? Confusing…
What were these wee monkeys up to?! One’s got a wet crotch and one’s got his zip down! Which reminds me of a story… A friend of a friend caught her very young daughter and her friend messing about. With a foamy can of Pledge. The mortified friend yelled at her daughter to stop the goings on and got the answer, ‘But he likes it…’ Oh the innocence.
I mean the daughter’s friend, not the friend’s friend. Nothing THAT untoward going on!
The last one is really funny, nastional spastic society… So wish I thought of that. I’d stick them all over my dads car.
LOL Some of these are damn funny, I must admit. I see my ‘entry’ didn’t make it. a) being 10 seems a long time ago now! (ahem…..) and b) there is only so much I can cram into a tweet.
But very funny these, most enjoyable! What WERE we like as 10 year olds, eh??
LC x
Haha… though I think it’s only fair if Derren, Phills, Abeo and Coops post what embarrassing things THEY were doing at 10!
thats a rather long tweet.
I’ve been laughing at the top picture for a good ten minutes now. What a family album classic!
haha
they cracked me up
i read them in real time as they arrived on twitter
im such a nerd. LOVE ITT
yes, yes you are
I missed the original tweet! Grrrrrrrrrr.
I did accidentally watch the My Little Pony film at my local cinema, and it was only when the lights came up afterwards that I realised most of the girls from my class had also been watching it.
Haha theyre great! Id join in but I dont get Twitter
how do you read the tweets as they come in? i cant see any responces! i dont get twitter
Msg from Abeo: If your logging in via the twitter website, on your home page there is a search box on the right hand side, search for @derrenbrown
I pretended to my older brother that I was getting taught karate at school. Kept it going for a couple of months, actually “teaching” him some of what I was learning. Finally my mum told him I was lying and he battered me.Good while it lasted though.
Didn’t Derren set fire to someone’s boat when he was a kid?
xx
Hm, yes … embarassing things from Phillis, Abeo, Coops and Derren .. that’s a good one .. we want that! Good one TheColinRocks.
I recognized a few … I had a younger brother and an older brother (still have). I fail to remember something from the age 10, stuff around that age but nothing that amusing … must have been in 5th grade … stickign out my tongue to a teacher (who did it first) and having great fun with that .. but he got very pissed … I had a few more of those .. confusing encounters with teachers. Male … Therefor, not funny …
I’d ask also for stuff on a younger age … or erm .. older, way older age … Ask them for stuff all the time .. that’s best. Specific details needed as well.
When I was 10 I put my 7 year old brother and his friend from school in a duvet cover, did up the buttons and pushed them down the stairs.
Incredibly dangerous looking back but pant wettingly funny, I still chuckle thinking of it……especially the pong of an unidentified limb hitting a radiator at the bottom
They were both fine (relatively) afterwards
Aww these have put a smile on my face!
I’m just waiting for someone to say “A ten year old with a mobile phone?! Disgusting?”.
When I was younger, my older sister told me that there was a wall in our house like platform 9 and three quarters in Harry Potter, so if you run into it quickly there’s a secret room… There wasn’t.
Ah the spastic society one is mine!! FAME!! It still hurts to this day thinking about it though…
When I was ten, maybe eleven I used to paint with water colours and discovered masking fluid. Only when I was bored one day, I realised I can paint it onto my hand – so that when it dried it looked like peeling skin. With a little red paint and make-up I convinced my brother that I had a terrible infectious disease and my skin was peeling all over his bed and clothes – this worked for a while until he started screaming!
I believe Derren did something simular, but took it to the next level!
When I was 10 I used to wait for my brother to come up the stairs, as I was going down them and then scream and burst out crying whilst telling my parents he jumped out on me, just so he’d get slapped!
I’m not proud
…But it does make me chuckle when I think back.
Also, from the time I was ten – I strongly believed that if I looked into a mirror after dark for over 10 minutes. I believed it would transport me to a parallel world opposite to the one I’m in! I’m still apprehensive to look in a mirror in the dark!
When I was ten, I bit a real chunk out of my little brother’s shoulder when we were fighting, ‘cos he really used to batter me and I never wanted to hurt him, but he went to far this day. He used to still get bathed by my mum at that stage, but we had to convince her that he was grown up enough to bath himself or we’d both get battered when she saw the evidence of our fistycuffs. Oddly, the fib kind of bonded us and we stopped thumping each other. I was such a tomboy.
Not sure if I was 10, but I do remember having this wooden slide in our back garden and my friend (who had obviously wet herself), cos as she went down the slide there was this pee-trail all the way down the slide behind her. Being a wooden slide it was really noticeable and looked like the slime trail a slug leaves behind, Of course the rest of us killed ourselves with laughter, pointing etc (you don’t keep quiet about such things when you’re young) and the poor girl ran off home crying.
No, I’m not proud of myself & the poor girl may have been mentally scarred for life, but was bloody funny at the time!
(shame all that wouldn’t fit in a tweet…… 
)
LC x
Another fine article to the blog!
12 years later…
“When I was 10 I was approached by this funny man who said he was a magician. He said he could make me famous. There were 6 of us kdis. He made us close our eyes and put our hands in a sack and feel a ball to choose from in there. Got all over the news. Wierd…”
When I was 10, my older brother used to run up the stairs before me, at home, and as I got to the top he would bend over and Fart in my face!!
When my brother was 10, my mum dressed up as a vampire (she had false canine teeth on a plate), she looked pretty convincing too…. anyway… she went into my brothers bedroom at about midnight and scared the crap out of him by bending over his bed and waking him up!! He never slept without the light off again!!!
)
@Sally – Haha!
I think i must have a boring life when I was 10, can’t think of anything interesting that happened. And where do you find all these pictures for the blogs?? they’re brilliant (especially this one and another from wee while ago with two boys with pants on their heads!) I think you try and find the best blog pictures
I wonder what age it is that a person decides “Ya know what? I’m just not going to slide onto the floor under the table in a restaurant anymore.” or “I don’t think I want to crawl inbetween clothes racks at department stores anymore”. When do we start getting embarrassed when being noticed openly staring down a stranger who happens to be standing behind us in a store que or something?BTW…when I was 10 my dad was building a 2nd story to our house. It was to become our bdrms, a rec room and a bathroom. At the time it was bare though and covering the hole that would later become the stairway was a chuck of sheet rock. (See where this is going?)My brother and I were running around up there (we were told not to, of course,but COME ON…what kid could resist?) I fell thru to the basement.
@Abeo – thank you!!! wow i never knew u could do that! now theres a whole load of tweets i need to read through. seriously i think this might end in divorce for me lol!!!! on grounds of twitter and DB addiction x
A brilliant set – mine’s the fourth one =D
Hmmm – When I was 10 my classmates at my C of E school convinced me that if you walked round a tree ten times backwards the devil would appear that night and poke your eyes out. We all dared each other to do it.
I was a gullible kid, and when I got cold feet after doing it and tried to reverse the satanic rite by walking round the tree 10 times forward I lost count.
My parents were furious with my classmates for putting that idea in my head when I kept them up all night whining about being scared the devil was coming for my eyeballs!
There’s a horror movie franchise in it somewhere
Looking at the pic again, it looks like the kid on the left is about to poke his finger through his flies! (like all little boys, and sometimes grown men are wont to do! lol)
LC x
we used to sledge down the stairs in my house in sleeping bags, only when the parents were out though.
@Sara – masking fluid… Oh that takes me back… Aw… memories.
@Dmaco & @Abeo the problem with searching for @derrenbrown on twitter is that you can subject yourself to the unwashed masses shouting the equivalent of “it’s up his sleeve!” I’m sure it’s great publicity for Derren to get everyone talking, but I found the rowdy peanut gallery to be rather off-putting.
Has the heckling has died down yet?
@David G, you’re right, some people are shockingly rude!!
Yay, PVC glue and putting mattresses on the stairs (unbeknownst to parents), then pretending it was a slide or a mountainside depending on whether you’d bounced your way to the bottom yet…oh, sunbathing on the flat bathroom roof with a friend…it was a latch window we had to climb out of (see where this is going?) we locked ourselves out and I was in the process of lowering myself off the edge of the roof and hanging by my fingertips trying to reach the dustbins below with my feet when the ‘rents returned. Much hilarity ensued.
(Re the picture…are you sure the little brother hadn’t won the award seen next to them, fallen asleep before the photo, older bro wet his brother’s crotch, perhaps explaining the open fly…? A case for Miss Marple, indeed!)
Those are classic
Bit late but when I was 10, I used the kitchen scissors to style my dogs hair into a mohican that went right down his back because “it looked cool”. I quickly found out that one persons “cool” is another’s “what the hell have you done?” :-O.
x
@DavidG you are right, its disgusting! poor derren gettin abuse shouted at him, i felt the need to tell someone to shut it myself! i doubt he reads any of his tweets if thats the sh!t he gets! i think i would put a block on gettin tweets!
shocking.
When i was 10, i decided to cut my own fringe before school, except i had a pretty bad aim, and it kept going wonky so i kept cutting to straighten it out. i ended up with a 1 cm fringe, crying my eyes out coz i couldnt go to school looking like a complete moron.
not only that but it was school photo week. i ended up wearing a hairband at the very start of my hairline to hide the ridiculously short fringe…..i had a halo of spikey hair out the back of the hairband. My mum bought that particular school photo too and blew it up for my 21st birthday party…nice!
x
When I was 10 me and my cousin used to throw old rotten apples from the apple tree at the younger kids on our street, pretending we were throwing grenades in the war… memories!
@David G @Siobhan – I also read through a lot of Derren’s tweets recently l(I don’t know why, but didn’t feel right doing it for some reason, but anyway…..) and I agree, that some people really don’t care what they say. I wouldn’t DREAM of saying some of the things to Derren that some people obviously deem as acceptable.
But hey, perhaps it gets his attention far more than my tweets ever do…..
LC x
There are loads of funny stories from all of our childhoods, these are all fantastic.
I remember clearly when i was about 8 years old; my mum had bought me and my elder brother Chris a milky way each. She had told me specifically not to eat my chocolate until after dinner, and placed both down next to each other on the kitchen counter.
Some time later my mum came and found me munching on a milky way. Furious that i had blatantly disregarded her earlier wishes, she demanded to know why i was eating it, to which I replied “Its ok mum, I have eaten Christopher’s, i have saved mine for after dinner”
The wisdom of children !.
I told my cousin if he wanted to play and be in our gang he had to shove sherbert pips up his nose.Well he did it but he must have really rammed them up as they wouldnt come down.He had to go to the doctors to get them removed.Thing was we thought he was joking so we all were laughing but he couldnt breathe properly.
I remember being grounded for a week and everyone going on about it forever.
That last one had me wetting myself too haha!
Mine is up there…diarrhea dog poo (yellow as well
). I was so ashamed of myself I spent half an hour scrubbing my hands in the bathroom and did not tell a soul about the incident until I was an adult.
Ah, to be 10 again!
@jo – Oh, more memories – sherbet pips. How we burped lemon fizz.
@ Lady Claire – That’s why you’re a lady!
@JayKay – Why thankyou. I try to be!
LC x
@ladyclaire – i felt wrong reading his tweets too…weird lol. but i noticed he gets about 200+ tweets a minute…he wont be reading them so someones got to lol
@Abeo & Phillis….is Derren really doing all his own tweets??? please answer
x
Msg from Abeo: Yes everything that’s not a blog post link or link to tour tickets is Derren
@ Lady Clare, it did feel a tad voyeuristic!
what struck me is that people will type things on Twitter that I’m sure they would never dream of saying to someone in ‘real life’ – I mean really, why on earth would you seek someone out just to be nasty to them???
When I was about 8, me and my family went on holiday to Morocco. Shortly before, one of my classmates had told me the astonishing fact that babies actually drink milk from their mother’s breasts. Anyway, on the plane to Morocco, my ears popped so I couldn’t hear how loudly I was talking, and I turned and shouted to my mum; “MUM, WHY DON’T I DRINK MILK FROM YOUR BOOBIES ANYMORE?!” The other passangers thought it was hilarious…My mum did not.
P.s. Anyone know where I can get some of those National Spastic Society stickers? Want to stick one on my dad’s back without him knowing. That’ll teach him to say Derren’s lottery prediction was “easy, and anyone could have done it…” !!!
I tried to respond to the twitter posting but am unsure as to how I was to get it to where it needed to be.
I know that it dod not make it there since it was not included in the list.
SERIOUSLY,..
I stuck a service stations airhose, for tires, up my nose hoping to allow a little controlled amount of air up one nostril (right) and out the other. The hose had a lever to allow control of the airflow but I was not able to master the lever exactly and proceeded to accidently blow a good size portion of congestion out of the other nostril (left, for those still reading) and onto the concrete. I’ve never felt the same since,……
@Siobhán – It’s the same with anyone, there’s always going to be haters
boo hiss!
Weeeee not long until How To Control the Nation!
Not sure if I was ten or eleven, but I’d heard one had to be in the country (US) for at least 7 years to be a citizen. I told my little brothers (identical twins, and yes, born here) that they weren’t American citizens and wouldn’t be until their seventh birthday. (They were about four at the time). Being that my mom was pretty big on patriotism at the time, it made them cry (and tattle, the little rats). Pretty tame in comparison to the other stories here, but at the time I actually believed I was just telling them the ‘hard truth’.
Christ, I was a demon at aged 10, I used to give my younger sister hell!!. I remember finding these Christmas cake decorations one time and picking up a handful of tiny silver balls, and daring my sister to smell them (no idea why she would want to). Just as she did, I jammed my hand closer and they shot up her nose…the next hour involved a LOT of crying, and my mum and a tweezers…
I remember another time at a family dinner (Christmas?!) and the dog we had at the time got a little too amorous, and I made a great big deal out of yelling “Look!!! Max has another tongue!!!”
I was big into Secret 7 and Famous Five, so I also frequently locked myself in rooms with only a hair pin. God bless my mum, she removed hinges more times than I can remember!!
Thanks, twas fun to reminisce xx
There’s some comedy gold right here…
@ Jess – that is simply brilliant. That has it all, humiliation, boobies and enclosed spaces.
I also just remembered a dinghy sailing club my dad signed me up for at that age. I was the unpopular kid of the class and the bigger kids spent one lunchbreak watching me wading in the shallow water with my boat and mocking me. I thought “Just you wait!” and got the bucket from my dinghy, filled it with water and aimed it at the harbour wall they were sitting on.
Unfortunately my hand eye co-ordination was also pretty crap back then. The water disappeared from view and I just had time to think “where’s the water gone?” before it landed vertically straight back down on my head. One from the Wily Coyote school of physical comedy. They wouldn’t let it lie.
@Dmaco – Blimey, 200 tweets a minute? That’s outrageous!
But even though I KNOW he can’t physically read them all (I most certainly couldn’t), I like to think he must read some of them when he asks for advice about things, as he does from time to time? I only ever reply to a tweet of Derren’s when he tweets first (if that makes sense). I don’t want to feel like I’m pestering the poor man otherwise.
LC x
Does anyone remember any stupid dares they did when they were 10?
I remember the biggest, most dangerous dare you could do (according to my friends and classmates,) was to stand in front of a mirror at midnight with a candle in your hand, and say ‘Bloody Mary’ three times. If you did that and came out alive, you were the big kahoonas!
Thing is, everyone had a different idea about what would happen when you did it. Some people said that you got stabbed by your own reflection, others said the Grim Reaper came after you, others said the Devil ate your soul etc etc. The one I was really terrified of was that after you did the ‘Bloody Mary’ chant, from then on whenever you switched off the light, Bloody Mary would appear on your ceiling and drip blood all over you!!!!!!
Lovely!
Oh, dares, haha! my bruv – who was ten then strangely enough – was dared to climb a high tree on top of a hill and set up a ropeswing. Which he did. He was first on it, the branch snapped and he fell about 30/40 feet down an embankment onto the busy dual-carriageway underneath. Idiots. My mum still doesn’t know the truth about the broken collarbone. He was so bruised he looked pea-green like the hulk. I think he learned his lesson when they pulled his shoulder back into place. We heard the bloodcurdling screams – even behind the thick X-ray room doors – for a very long time.
@Shanna – re the dog – hahaha!
I see the DB crowd are also fans of ‘Awkward Family Photos’…