Comments on: Are there asexuals among us? http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/11/asexuals/ The official Derren Brown Blog Sat, 31 Jul 2010 10:40:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Curly http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/11/asexuals/#comment-46348 Curly Wed, 25 Nov 2009 23:07:16 +0000 http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/?p=7839#comment-46348 A test wouldn't work anyway, seeing as asexuality is so complex. I identify as asexual, however I do experience sexual desire. I did infact the other day while looking at this guy, but I know that if he kissed me or did anything else I wouldn't feel anything, or at the most I would feel slightly repulsed. It's complicated & I know it doesn't really make sense, I guess my idea of sex in my head is different compared to the actual experience (?) A test wouldn’t work anyway, seeing as asexuality is so complex. I identify as asexual, however I do experience sexual desire. I did infact the other day while looking at this guy, but I know that if he kissed me or did anything else I wouldn’t feel anything, or at the most I would feel slightly repulsed. It’s complicated & I know it doesn’t really make sense, I guess my idea of sex in my head is different compared to the actual experience (?)

]]> By: ScreamingGreenConure http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/11/asexuals/#comment-45578 ScreamingGreenConure Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:32:07 +0000 http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/?p=7839#comment-45578 Aw, it's ok, I totally forgive you. It's not an unusual response to asexuality to come from the point of view you did. It's way more unusual to see someone retract it, and that's always a big step forwards. Hooray! Aw, it’s ok, I totally forgive you. It’s not an unusual response to asexuality to come from the point of view you did. It’s way more unusual to see someone retract it, and that’s always a big step forwards. Hooray!

]]> By: flapjack http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/11/asexuals/#comment-45562 flapjack Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:28:04 +0000 http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/?p=7839#comment-45562 SGC - I've been thinking about what you said all day, and I've come to the conclusion you're right. I'm out of line. Asexuals don't owe me anything by way of proof as everything I said about them could equally apply to bisexuals, transexuals and as a gay man I know it erks me when people say "ah you just haven't found the right woman", or require some kind of empirical proof I'm not just a straight man who hasn't persevered with women. I should really think it through properly before I post b@ll@cks! I take back everything I said. Scientifically tested data is one thing, but I'm showing a complete lack of empathy here. Sorry if I offended anyone. Can you forgive me? SGC – I’ve been thinking about what you said all day, and I’ve come to the conclusion you’re right. I’m out of line. Asexuals don’t owe me anything by way of proof as everything I said about them could equally apply to bisexuals, transexuals and as a gay man I know it erks me when people say “ah you just haven’t found the right woman”, or require some kind of empirical proof I’m not just a straight man who hasn’t persevered with women.
I should really think it through properly before I post b@ll@cks!
I take back everything I said. Scientifically tested data is one thing, but I’m showing a complete lack of empathy here. Sorry if I offended anyone. Can you forgive me?

]]> By: Shawn Landis, Philadelphia Asexual Examiner http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/11/asexuals/#comment-45524 Shawn Landis, Philadelphia Asexual Examiner Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:06:15 +0000 http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/?p=7839#comment-45524 And you can be mentally ill and asexual. And you can be mentally ill and asexual.

]]> By: ScreamingGreenConure http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/11/asexuals/#comment-45464 ScreamingGreenConure Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:48:27 +0000 http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/?p=7839#comment-45464 Yes, you are, rather. What you are saying is that if somebody self-identifies as asexual - which means anything from being involved in a relationship but not desiring sex with their partner or anyone else, to just not experiencing sexual OR romantic attraction - they have to prove themselves. It's not enough for an asexual to say "I'm not into men or women. I don't really feel any sexual attraction or desire to feel that." Instead, they have to undergo testing to satisfy you that they're not liars, or mentally broken. As other people here have said, asexuality isn't all that new at all, you just haven't heard much about it. Do you really think that whether you have personally known any "real" asexuals has any bearing on the asexual commenters on this blog entry? Who are you to demand that they prove they're not broken? Yes, you are, rather. What you are saying is that if somebody self-identifies as asexual – which means anything from being involved in a relationship but not desiring sex with their partner or anyone else, to just not experiencing sexual OR romantic attraction – they have to prove themselves. It’s not enough for an asexual to say “I’m not into men or women. I don’t really feel any sexual attraction or desire to feel that.” Instead, they have to undergo testing to satisfy you that they’re not liars, or mentally broken.
As other people here have said, asexuality isn’t all that new at all, you just haven’t heard much about it. Do you really think that whether you have personally known any “real” asexuals has any bearing on the asexual commenters on this blog entry? Who are you to demand that they prove they’re not broken?

]]> By: flapjack http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/11/asexuals/#comment-45427 flapjack Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:00:21 +0000 http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/?p=7839#comment-45427 SGC - Sorry if I crossed a line there, but I've never encountered genuinely asexual people, and those I know about who make a big issue of their celibacy (Stephen Fry and Alan Bennet to name but two) often come out of the closet at a later stage. People who genuinely don't feel any attraction to anyone of either gender or hermaphrodites are even more scarce. I'm not saying they don't exist, and I don't object to them, but I haven't ever encountered a proven example of one. I am just stating what you would need to do from a scientific standpoint in order to establish they were genuinely asexual rather than either sexually frustrated, celebate or lying. After all, we are establishing a new scientific category here and to my mind that requires some kind of study beyond mere anecdotal evidence. Am I digging a deeper hole here? SGC – Sorry if I crossed a line there, but I’ve never encountered genuinely asexual people, and those I know about who make a big issue of their celibacy (Stephen Fry and Alan Bennet to name but two) often come out of the closet at a later stage. People who genuinely don’t feel any attraction to anyone of either gender or hermaphrodites are even more scarce.
I’m not saying they don’t exist, and I don’t object to them, but I haven’t ever encountered a proven example of one. I am just stating what you would need to do from a scientific standpoint in order to establish they were genuinely asexual rather than either sexually frustrated, celebate or lying.
After all, we are establishing a new scientific category here and to my mind that requires some kind of study beyond mere anecdotal evidence.
Am I digging a deeper hole here?

]]> By: Zamurazi http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/11/asexuals/#comment-45340 Zamurazi Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:06:56 +0000 http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/?p=7839#comment-45340 Identities are false. Identities are false.

]]> By: StarliteShadow http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/11/asexuals/#comment-45337 StarliteShadow Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:04:22 +0000 http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/?p=7839#comment-45337 For a while now I have thought that the whole contept of "sexual orientation" is a bit basic. Some men can like women and men, some can like only women, some however can only like some women, or some women and some men, and of course the same goes for women. Trying to class these are "orientations" is about as scientifically sound as is the term "teenage". Each person is unique, and therefore it would make more sense to see sexual attraction as something that is perhaps more complex than a simple grouping of "hetero","homo" or even "not applicable". For a while now, I believe that sexual attraction is more of a pattern recognition system that is influenced by the subconscious, and expressed by our consciousness. It is not built to fit specific patterns ,and that is why it often doesn't. More work needs to be done in this field. For a while now I have thought that the whole contept of “sexual orientation” is a bit basic. Some men can like women and men, some can like only women, some however can only like some women, or some women and some men, and of course the same goes for women. Trying to class these are “orientations” is about as scientifically sound as is the term “teenage”. Each person is unique, and therefore it would make more sense to see sexual attraction as something that is perhaps more complex than a simple grouping of “hetero”,”homo” or even “not applicable”.

For a while now, I believe that sexual attraction is more of a pattern recognition system that is influenced by the subconscious, and expressed by our consciousness. It is not built to fit specific patterns ,and that is why it often doesn’t. More work needs to be done in this field.

]]> By: Berber Anna http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/11/asexuals/#comment-45323 Berber Anna Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:48:48 +0000 http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/?p=7839#comment-45323 Phillis, would that be because Freud was a bit of a frustrated, oversexed dick? ;) Phillis, would that be because Freud was a bit of a frustrated, oversexed dick? ;)

]]> By: ScreamingGreenConure http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/2009/11/asexuals/#comment-45321 ScreamingGreenConure Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:48:18 +0000 http://derrenbrown.co.uk/blog/?p=7839#comment-45321 Freud thought pretty much everything was caused by childhood trauma, though. He was also sex-obsessed. Freud thought pretty much everything was caused by childhood trauma, though. He was also sex-obsessed.

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