Episode 2: Dating techniques
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Further reading on this topic can be found at: http://www.scienceofattraction.co.uk/factoids/dating-techniques
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This isn’t some of Dezzy’s best work. Although he just seems to introduce it and then close it. The ‘science’ behind it all is a bit ropey to be fair.. haha
Wha?? How is this ‘clearly evidence that being yourself works best’? And the girls did like the dating techniques guy after they found out what was happening. The fact that they all changed their minds completely once the experiment revealed weakened it all further for me. Umm… single trial, 3 subjects, no references to proper research – can we really still call this “Science” of attraction?
Msg from Abeo: You can find further reading here http://www.scienceofattraction.co.uk/factoids/dating-techniques
So where are the overweight people, bald guys or even volunteers in their 30′s?
To do these tests properly, you need a far more wider range of ages and shapes.
(as opinions differ through generations).
I find that the research behind this series is not really up to par compared to what Derren has done in the past. A little disappointed I must admit. I agree with the moral of being yourself, of course, but portraying dating techniques as not being a good thing, is not fair I find, since there can be many types of valuable techniques. Such as asking questions to get to know the other (don’t just talk about us all the time), be comfortable and dare to be ourself, tips to develop confidence in who we are (which was clearly important in the Trick or Treat episode with the speed dating guy, develop effective communication skills, smile, etc.
I would have liked the show to point out the positive attributes that are effective when dating, and that are also intrinsic to a healthy and happy life.
Thanks for taking the time to read and respond Kat, but there are no scientific studies referenced on that page either…
It’s not enough to say “science shows” – who shows? what were their methods? can I read their research and see whether it was carried out and reported on properly? Have the findings been repeated – or rebuffed? Links to newspaper articles (which were all I could see on the ‘factoids’ page for familiarity) are not what we need either – lord knows how badly wrong the media can be at interpreting science! (see Ben Goldacre’s blogs and books, or even “NHS Choices:Behind the Headlines” at http://www.nhs.uk/News/Pages/NewsIndex.aspx for an instant list of examples of how things are blown out of proportion or misinterpreted)
Msg from Abeo: Hi Fib, it’s Abeo responding not Kat (I help run the DB blog), i’d suggest putting your questions directly to the Science Of Scams Team on their Facebook Page or Twitter Account.
I concur with everything above. Sort it out DB you big sexy lemon.
DB, forshame on you.
I don’t really agree with this.
The dating techniques thing is a loose concept, and they said that it isn’t good or natural because when they told the women afterwards they said it was manipulative. However, this only covers one dating style (having lines or responses to things) and doesn’t really take on board how much the skills help your confidence.
I have read dating self help books and found them really helpful with confidence in merely approaching women. In a speed-dating scenario it is very fake, and the person is talking to you with sub-text that you are both trying to get with someone. I used to be a 21 year old virgin with no girlfriends, and after reading dating manuals I realised that I need to be comfortable with myself instead of worrying about what a girl thinks!
Best thing so far… Derren being called a big sexy lemon. But on to the next video
your all missing the point, dont complain this isnt science, this is just to show the science, this has already been tested by others so now need to do it again, showing how it works and showing the science behind is enough, if it isnt enough for you dont bitch and do some research or go watch mythbusters
“JUST BE YOURSELF” what utter crap IF BEING MYSELF DIDNT ATTRACT BEFORE
WHY WOULD IT ATTRACT NOW?
I would just like to say learning date techniques “IS NOT A SIN”
Here with the right advice you will learn to present yourself better with more confidence, better communication skills……….you can’t date if you have nothing interesting or are too nervous to speak?
These techniques are not so to manipulate women or men but to become more attractive, more interesting to them on the first encounter.
However if anyone thinks remembering some lines from a book will get the date forget it.
The best way to do this is to learn for the techniques then mould them to who you are. If YOU are fake YOU will be found out !!!
with just being yourself they mean dont act different from who you are because he/she may like you then but if you want more then a one night stand and dont want to act like a different person the entire relationship then it is usefull to be yourself because he/she probably will find out and may not like the real you so its wise to act yourself so you know if you hit it off its the real you they like, so its not utter crap its just that you dont understand andy.
and if your not able to be yourself because your nervous or whatever and dating techniques can help you relax more, understand and communicate better or help to present the real you better then they are usefull but that doesnt mean you have to act different from who you are.
so if your bad at dating being yourself doesnt mean stay the same as your are on dates, it means be how you are in normal life. you can use the tecniques to be as how you normal are and maybe to flirt and understand hím/her better.
and these dating techniques are not so to manipulate but that doesnt mean they cant andy.
Wow.
Lots of you folks are “tough graders” for a free show
If you are having trouble dating, your best bet is probably to start with some therapy by a professional psychologist. It’s not uncommon to have a slightly whacky self image, confidence issues or other problems that make meeting people and trusting them harder. And it is not uncommon to carry baggage from bad experiences with you.
Good therapy doesn’t cost much, and it can be quite transformative. I’ve known several people who struggled socially who became quite happily effective both socially and professionally after a few months of therapy.
I think this video illustrates that women like a variety of interaction types, and that some “role playing” in the early stages of a relationship can make things easier.