Posted in Derren's Posts

Posted by Derren Brown December 25, 2008 at 12:14 am

But have a happy Christmas and be your charming, delightful selves to each other.


December 25, 2008 at 12:23 am

I prefer to say : “Happy Over-Commercialised Winter Solstice”

December 25, 2008 at 12:24 am
ReliegiousMarie says:

Idem ditoo

Enjoy yourself too and everyone reading in here


December 25, 2008 at 12:33 am
Class says:

Please will you have a word with Cliff Richard, Derren. Someone ought to tell him before he makes a fool of himself!

Oops, too late!

Your proof that God doesn’t exist might make him see the light. Or have I misunderstood your “statement”?

Happy Xmas everyone!

December 25, 2008 at 12:35 am
penn britton says:

So now you have evidence Derren? Sorry but I’m not religious but open minded and I don’t see how ANYONE can say any God does not exist.. Don’t end up like Dawkins as he is a wanker these days…

Plus offending people never goes down well eh Derren?

December 25, 2008 at 1:02 am
BellaFiga says:

I’ve just got back from midnight mass. I’m not a christian. That probably doesn’t make sense. In amongst all the words and the incense and bells (very high church CoE apparently) there was something affecting that I can’t put my finger on. God has many meanings for many people. For me it is the creative force of the universe and the common source that unites and fits us with everything and everyone. And that’s enough for tonight. Peace be to everyone. Please recycle your packaging. Amen. Turn out the lights.

December 25, 2008 at 1:20 am
Mike says:


Finding this blog has made my week! Just wish it was easier to watch your shows in the US.

Have a nice holiday.


December 25, 2008 at 1:22 am
pb says:

Derren you sound silly to be honest- I think that is going too far. How can ANYBODY make such claims??

Who wouldve thunked it Derren sounds as bad as the religious Fanatics, say hello to the hypocrisy Derren Dawkins.

December 25, 2008 at 1:28 am
AGB says:

Derren- you really are condascending, it isn’t appreciated. Where’s that Pope???

December 25, 2008 at 1:29 am
Christine says:

its meant to be a joke pb – lighten up.

merry xmas D and all even the ones who the irony hasn’t been totally lost upon.

December 25, 2008 at 1:43 am
Nick says:

WOW easy there people, when the religious folks make their Jesus, god etc claims they don’t get this sort of negative reaction whichever side you believe to be making the outrageous claim ( and I have to say I’m with Derren on this one) why is it the atheist that is in the wrong and not the people making some quite hefty claims without a stitch of evidence.
if a large group of people the world over started saying your Mum was a pedophile and somebody wrote a book about it and they got together at the end of every week in a specially constructed building to discuss your mothers pedophilic activities I don’t think it would be unreasonable to ask why she was being accused of such a terrible crime. weight of numbers alone isn’t enough. and I’d certainly be fighting in your mothers defense when the prosecution makes their lead argument that they “Just believe it in their heart to be true”

Merry Christmas Derren, Coops and the gang and all believers/ non-believers alike, have a good one!

December 25, 2008 at 1:49 am
use says:

Some people act like Derren is their God- its pathetic. Derren doesn’t exist and that is a fact – well not the Derren all the fangirls see anyhoo. Even his name isn’t Derren! Lies!Lies! LOL


December 25, 2008 at 1:54 am
Rubber says:

Christine – how do you know its a “joke”? Are you Derren?

Nick – I think you miss the point a little. I think the majority of people here don’t like the religious clap trap either way, whether it’s pro God or against. I am not religious, I just dont like people stating as fact that God does or does not exist. So really, it’s not a case of Derren getting picked on, people just think he is turning into the kind of people he probably hates – religious fanatics who bang on how God exists, Derren is just doing the opposite but with as much conviction! If you cant see the hypocricy here then I am lost for words!

December 25, 2008 at 2:00 am
phil says:

By ‘God’, surely you are only talking about the somewhat politicized christian view of god as a bearded man in the sky who dishes out blessings on his ever serving, other cheek-turning, christians and punishes all those of other faiths for blasphemous idolatry. Surely no-one would be so bold (or asleep) as to deny the existence of the force that defined the universal cosmic constants we find in physics texts. Arbitrary or not, those values were set and whatever set them is responsible for the continuing creation and maintenance of this universe and for our lives within it. He may not be about to return to earth in human form to banish sinners to hell and take his chosen ones to heaven in chariots of fire but can’t we agree that there is some force thats intelligent enough to get the first balls rolling in such a way that creation continues to happen, apparently (from our perspective) on its own.

December 25, 2008 at 2:12 am
Tim says:

Even if Derren was joking, religion is something you should not joke about. Religion can be on a par with sexuality and race – shall we all joke about that? Religion can mean a lot to some people, even sane people, it meant a lot to Derren once – dont belittle it by joking about it and condoning it! No one knows the “truth”. State your opinion as your opinion, dont state it as fact and in such a preaching way. Would we all be here poking fun at Derren if he still believed in God? I doubt it. I think some of us would probably agree with him as it seems some adapt their way of thinking to match Derrens.
I am not religious either, I am just more tolerant of other people and their religious beliefs and its something I dont get on my high horse over despite what I think about “God.
Bringing paedophilia into this subject to make a point is very childish.

December 25, 2008 at 2:16 am
Howard says:

ho ho ho 🙂

December 25, 2008 at 2:27 am
Christine says:

Oh come on Tim… of course he’s joking.. Derren isn’t a tabloid newspaper.

and joking about anything is fine.. it’s a joke! as soon as you start censoring what people can and can’t joke about you begin to kill freedom of speech and become an incredibly terrible bore at the same time.

Ever thought that Derren might just fling out a comment like this and think “heh… this will wind them up and have them up till 2am on christmas day arguing about god and sillyness and the like” whilst he mashes a plate of mince pies in to his ming bearded gob?

only an idiot would make a statement like that and hope to win favor and as we all know Derren is a master of trickery and wordplay. Oh how he plays with our minds – damn you Derren – you have me up late on your blog! damn you! DAMN YOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!

December 25, 2008 at 2:41 am
Tim says:

Christine, I don’t really care if he is joking to be honest. This blog has censored people LOTS of times over certain things so are you saying this blog is an incredible terrible bore?
If I joked about gays and black people, I think there would be a certain degree of “OMG you can’t say that”. Is it a case of if Derren says it it’s ok? I think that is the case but that says more about you than Derren to be honest.

I don’t really like conversing with fangirls as it’s kind of pointless! Derren can do no wrong.

So long guys, I’m outta this thread!

December 25, 2008 at 3:24 am
Emma says:

Ahhh now that little post from Derren has made me laugh like I’ve got belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Ahhh the sweetness of an atheistic Christmas.
Thanks for making my Christmas day just better! 🙂
Merry Christmas Mr.B x

December 25, 2008 at 3:27 am
Ameel says:

Sorry I thought this was youtube. I felt the need to express a opinion not supported by anything except for my naive and simplified view of the world forgive me. Also, I vote on X factor. Moreover I class myself as middleclass educated…and eat potato dauphinoise.

If Jesus was still alive I’d buy him a Spandau Ballet Gold album, A Mary Shelley Frankenstein book and a Daily Mirror.

December 25, 2008 at 5:47 am

Hahaha. Totally made my holiday. Thank you Derren.

December 25, 2008 at 7:05 am
Jennifer says:

Joking about religion is perfectly acceptable! As is joking about cannibalism, new puppies, and cannibalistic new puppies.

I cease being a silent overseas pseudostalker simply to say…
Have a lovely holiday as well! Hope the new year delivers lots of nice and sparkly surprises your way.
(And all of you people above me– you, too.)

December 25, 2008 at 7:44 am
Devolved says:

The day has almost ended for us in the far southern corner of the earth (NZ to be specific). Being an atheist myself I did what I always do on Thursday afternoons; I went for a walk through a few bush reserves (perfect thing to do in summer) and went about my day as usual. On my way back home I noticed many, many (some largely overweight) people in their gardens gorging insane platefuls of food, and it made me think of the irony of gluttony a sin (at least I think it is, when I had religion drilled into my head by bible teachers at primary school).

Ah, the oxymorons of religion.

December 25, 2008 at 8:47 am
Jaye Sunsurn says:

Of course Jesus and God (the christian one anyway) doesn’t exist, we all know that the Discordians have had it right all along and God is a Crazy Woman named Eris, who you don’t actually have to worship, its a good idea to say nice things about her now and again else she does get kind of bitchy… but not too many nice things else she might just pop by for a visit and seriously thats NOT something you want to be on your calendar. Eris regularly hangs around JR Dobbs who keeps trying to sell her stuff, stuff he has no right to sell, but what do you expect for the messiah of salesmen… while the Flying Spaghetti Monster provides comfort and carbohydrates to them as they debate the divinity of flying squirrels. And they all want us to know that its okay to believe in anything or nothing as long as it breaks up the monotony and makes you laugh and smile a little and believe in the potential awe and mystery of the world around us. Scientifically we can figure it out, life universe everything, I know I know its 42, but its the question that drives us, it just might take us a while still to get there, and before that happens we can enjoy the fact that not everything is known and there will be novelty and enjoyment for many years and perhaps generations to come.

December 25, 2008 at 8:56 am
Lolly says:

-> If Jesus was still alive…

Excellent game!

If Jesus were still alive I’d buy him… a pair of Birkenstocks, a clawhammer, a copy of The God Delusion and a 22ct gold crucifix necklace.

Have a lovely day, all, and remember not to call granny a liar when she blames her rancid sprout farts on the dog. I must go make a fudge and walnut pudding despite it being far too early for such things.

December 25, 2008 at 9:30 am
Ms G says:

charming delightfull selves … hm, now we do have a problem ..

Why TWO X-Mas days?! Life does not start again till it is Saturday ….. (not really a X-Mas fan (love the lights though .. outside in gardens and on houses .. very cosy and happy feeling it gives)

Have a nice one!

December 25, 2008 at 11:23 am
BellaFiga says:

I have just had a text from Jesus and he’s well pissed with you lot. He says you aren’t getting salvation after all and he’s sulking.

December 25, 2008 at 11:33 am
Lolly says:

After I got him a pair of Birkenstocks and everything. Ungrateful little twunt.

I have had to make the walnut and toffee pudding in a casserole dish for want of a 2L pudding basin. Daft bint… thought I had one. From henceforth it will be known as nutty caramel slab.

December 25, 2008 at 11:40 am
katie says:

either i’m blind r i don’t see the whole post-where is the whole controversial, Dawkinsean and offending stuff in this post? If you are offended by the claim that god doesn’t exist then…well, i should be offended by chistmas. i am offended by christmas in poland, because seriously- EVERYTHING is losed.
i never trust people who call Richard Dawkins names- have you actually read his texts?

December 25, 2008 at 11:50 am
katie says:

also, i am terrified of some of you after reading the comments- how come you disagree with joking about religion? wtf? what is so special about religion that jokes about blondes and jews are tolerated, and those of religion aren’t?

December 25, 2008 at 11:51 am
Berber Anna says:

Agreed – why can believers go on and on about God existing, but when a non-believer expresses his/her opinion, it’s suddenly quite insulting? That’s a bit over-sensitive, if you ask me (oh wait, nobody was asking me… :P).

Anyways, happy make-the-light-come-back party of whichever denomination to all of you! 🙂

December 25, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Lolly says:

And another thing… He ALWAYS gets us salvation for Christmas. I’ve still got loads of salvation left over from last year. AND the year before that. I’ve dropped untold hints about book tokens, I’ve sent him a link to my Amazon wish list and yet every year I have to smile through gritted teeth when the paper comes off and there it is… Salvation. Again.

You can’t even get a refund or exchange on the bloody stuff.

December 25, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Rhian says:

Whatever we believe hope you all have a great day! Even Derren ;o)

December 25, 2008 at 1:38 pm

The best words I ever heard. But… This is a reason, why there always will be plenty of people who hate DB 🙂 I wish you a merry Christmas and fast book writing about modern hypnosis. Bye bye

December 25, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Claire says:

I knew the comments on this one would keep me chuckling for a bit 🙂

Well, as an atheist I love a good xmas day… watching my partner jamming to Lou Reed on the Stylophone in nothing but a Richard Dawkins t-shirt, knowing he’s going to cook me a splendid roast dinner, and wondering if 10am is a bit early to get stuck into my Ardmore (it’s not). Even my lizard opened one eye and looked at me today, bless his spiky little heart.

Religion? All bollocks, but a great excuse for time off work, yummy treats and the giving & receiving of cool stuff. If yu can’t beat ’em, join ’em, that’s what I say!

Happy Monkey everyone! xxxx

December 25, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Jackie says:

Derren always knows how to push buttons. Happy Christmas to all who post ,and to all who created the postable posting thingy.


December 25, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Sam says:

-> If Jesus was still alive…

30 silver choccy coins, savlon, a foot spa & a Nintendo Wii

And those who’ve got the hump above, cop for this:

December 25, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Nick says:

I can’t help but feel we’re getting away from the very serious issue of pedophilia, no wait, what was this thread again? something about pervy old santas?

I’m suddenly reminded of my school days when we use to ask our Religious Studies teacher if jesus was a bastard as his parents were un wed… it never seemed to get old 🙂

December 25, 2008 at 5:28 pm
EMcB says:

Hope all of you have a great Christmas and New Year.

I just found out on Christmas Eve that I have a new job after being unemployed for a while so I’m really celebrating.

Now I’ll be able to spend all my hard earned money on Derren concert tickets, Derren DVDs (we never found out who won Coops’ caption competition!) , Derren books and probably travel to London……why?…. to see Derren in concert , of course.

All the best for 2009 Derren


December 25, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Katherine says:

Think I read from the same script as Derren on this one. One of the reasons I admire him is because he stands up and says such things in a world far too governed by religious considerations.

But saying that am having a great Christmas and have just demembered the turkey in preparation for a vast Boxing Day curry!

December 25, 2008 at 8:41 pm

I had cock for Christmas!
Its a male chicken with some fancy name???
Bloody tender i tell thee!
Stuff turkey i say lol
Happy tidings to you all in Derren Land xXx

December 25, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Kim says:

Darren gets applauded for standing up for what he believes in yet those on the opposite side of the fence who also stand up for what they believe in in the same way Darren does are known as “religious freaks”.

Just goes to show you can get away with anything when you’re famous.

December 25, 2008 at 10:50 pm
dannik001 says:


December 25, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Glenn Horsley says:

Any one know when the christmas special is on. I been looking everywhere on tv guides and cant see it 🙁

Any one got any news

December 26, 2008 at 1:39 am
Sabina says:

I think it’s on sometime don’t know when but it’s just a recording of Derren Brown Mind Reader An evening of wonders -his latest stage show so you’ve most probably seen it already.

Now…what was I going to say?

Oh I’m too drunk to remember. Happy christmas everyone!!!


December 26, 2008 at 4:36 am
Michele says:

What is boxing day anyways? Is it some kind of weird English thingy? hehehe

December 26, 2008 at 5:09 am
Joyce Hatcher says:

Gentel Readers,
It’s his blog and therefore his views. You do not have to come here or reply to this blog message. Mery Christmast and Happy New year 🙂

December 26, 2008 at 9:07 am
Lyvvie says:

Couldn’t resist poking the Wasp’s nest, could you. 😉

My Granny would call you the Dickens.

Hope you had a relaxing and wonderful day with those you love.

December 26, 2008 at 10:49 am
Emilie says:


December 26, 2008 at 11:49 am
zachismagic says:

This is my opinion
most of my friends are ‘atheists’ who don’t go to church or any were else, although they still celebrate Christmas by getting presents and singing carols.
so i think Christmas is too materialistic and is all about getting presents and not about Jesus’s birth.

but that’s just my opinion and I’m Jewish

December 26, 2008 at 12:03 pm
don K says:

Man! I’m really drunk…

December 26, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Nopke says:

No peacefull X-mas here .. 6 rabbits fighting on and off .. I’m supposed to be sort of god here in the house .. but I put them there .. maybe I’m a devil .. or a combination .. If I’d been like God I’d allow them to tor eachother to pieces … which I will not ofcourse .. seems more human to me .. wont run from my own responsibility .. should a few gods try out as well once if they excist .. that’s my idea .. nope, don’t believe one bit in a higher plan or forces .. it’s all up to ourselves folks! Cheers! It really will start and end with us. No one to hide behind.

December 26, 2008 at 6:22 pm
TheGT says:


December 27, 2008 at 9:30 am

hey guys lighten up will you & less of the Derren bashing it’s absurd!!!

he’s allowed an opinion just as much as you are & NO I don’t say that just ’cause he’s famous (cause I couldn’t give a shit that he’s famous i just like the guy cause he’s nice)

& I’m certainly not some girly fan neither I just think Derren has the right to his own opinion AND to be able to post what ever the heck he likes on his OWN blog!!! so cut the crap will you!!

Now then I know It’s late but I haven’t been online over xmas as I’ve been poorly

I just wanted to say

Hope you had a wonderful xmas Derren & hope you have an even better new year too

take care

xxx chantelle : )

December 27, 2008 at 11:13 am
papillion says:

By constantly preaching about what you believe, you’re rapidly becoming just as bad as the people who you say are in the wrong by preaching what they believe.

It would be so nice if everyone just believed what they wanted, and didn’t feel they had to pull other people’s beliefs apart.

“Never deprive someone of hope, it may be all they have”

December 27, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Amanda says:

woo I was so excited by this thread I rubbed vaseline on my bum cheeks and ran down the street screaming ‘how do you like this for a funky chicken you fuckers’


God only exists coz we do. Up your bum and tally ho.

December 27, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Eastwood says:

hahaha… nice one!

Just putting it out there == awesome!

December 28, 2008 at 4:27 am
Nicosia says:

papillion- so true!

I am in the minority here, as I do believe in God, but I am open to discussion and debate about it. It is interesting to understand why people believe what they do. My question is this:
How come the atheists I have spoken with nearly always (not Derren or anyone here) come across as condescending? Like my belief makes me less intelligent. It’s shame because that attitude makes me a whole lot less likely to listen to what they have to say.

btw- I’m a pilot and can tell you there are no atheists on a malfunctioning plane 😉 “Oh, God- please don’t let us crash!”

December 28, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Statchie says:

Ooooh! I wasn’t going to post on this but it would be nice to see 60 posts for this topic. Not sure why I think so. Maybe it’s due to my gravy induced partial coma that I find myself to be in today. This should make 58…come on people…we can do this!

Well…my two cents is that as a recovering Christian for some time now I can’t help but find it interesting just how emotional people can get from their belief systems being challenged at all. For those that aren’t Christian it shouldn’t bother you all that much if Derren here makes a statement about his stance on the subject, although I realise that it can feel uncomfortable and challenging for someone to say something contrary to your beliefs. If you’re Christian say a brief prayer that he will someday live in Christ’s love. If you’re a spiritualist send him some good energy, etc…
I, for one, feel relieved to live in a time where those of us non-believers/sinners (or whatever you prefer to call us) don’t have to live in silence as much as in years passed. I approve. 😉


December 28, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Amanda says:

Well I just say: read Derren’s book if you want an epiphany in reverse, a sleepless night, to feel alone, really alone, lonely, a bit silly some goes, some stays, some huddles in a corner. Let the dust settle, buy a mulberry velvet chaise longue, rub vaseline on your ass cheeks, run down the street dissing your neighbours with cries of look at me, funky chicken etc ( see former post)
a happy ending all in all, I’d say.

God! stop being so serious. ( Not, you…him with the beard..)ha hee ha

what did Buddha say to the Christmas shopper – be the present!
am I the 59th then – go go lets make it 60…. woooooooooooooooo

December 28, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Amanda says:


December 29, 2008 at 2:07 am
Statchie says:

Well done…Amanda makes 60! I knew we had it in us! Go us!

December 29, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Sabina says:

“btw- I’m a pilot and can tell you there are no atheists on a malfunctioning plane 😉 “Oh, God- please don’t let us crash!””

Oh Nicosia, that just made me laugh. A lot. Hee hee.

I’m in the minority too, in that I believe in God, but I agree that the stories about Jesus were made up and tweaked, long after he was gone.

“what did Buddha say to the Christmas shopper – be the present!”

That’s a good one Amanda.

I also like this one: the Dalai Lamma, on opening a gift of an empty box said, “Oh good. Nothing. just what I always wanted!”

December 29, 2008 at 11:16 pm
Berber Anna says:

Nicosia: I’m agnostic, and I don’t consider religious folks to be any less intelligent. Probably mistaken, in my eyes? Yes. Stupid? No. (Well, except for the young-earth creationists, because while Dinoriders was a nice cartoon, you’d have to be a bit loopy to consider it real.)

However, if we’re discussing the subject of religion and the possible existence of God, I’m not going to treat it differently from discussing UFOs, Mayan end-time or psychic phenomena. I state my opinion and I defend it. If I am to be convinced, your arguments had better be good.
I don’t randomly accost people with arguments against their religious sentiments, of course — this only goes for people that get into the discussion themselves.

Also, if people start preaching doom at me, or talking at me (not TO me, it’s always AT me) while I’m minding my own business in a public place, I am a bit short with them, and frankly it annoys me a lot.
(I’m not comparing you or other ‘normal’ Christians to the manic street preachers, of course — they’re not even acting in accordance with their own bible, ffs.)

I don’t think I’d call on a God to help me in a malfunctioning plane, though. Frankly, it wouldn’t occur to me. I’d probably be too busy saying my goodbyes to my loved ones (assuming it’s a bad malfunction, of course).

December 30, 2008 at 11:42 pm
giuseppe pagano says:

hi derren,seen you on tv in the past and your’e quite impressive. i was also given your book and dvd set as a present and its quite good. i do like everything about you., even though i believe in god and am on my spiritual path with my healing and psychic work. we all have our own journey in life to go through. all the best x

January 4, 2009 at 3:13 am

I don’t guess my full name looks too bad. Just who I am. Winter Solstice” last I knew is December 21st. Here is an interesting claim. If it is true then I’d say the rumor about Jesus was long before his death or even his birth and is sure to come again. I was baptized today. What does it all mean? Enjoy, this guys view, I do.


January 4, 2009 at 6:33 pm
L Ron Hubbard says:

My latest response to religious people who insist that God exists is to refer them to Tim Minchin and his short song entitled, “If you open your mind too much your brain will fall out (Take my wife)”

I hope the pine needles of your brightly decorated Pagan symbols of light and life inside your home during the darkest days of the year haven’t fallen out all over the carpet.

January 7, 2009 at 2:09 am
Matt Blais says:

ahhaha. i just read this now

January 8, 2009 at 10:38 pm
ronk says:

Ask a woodlice and he would say God is a rotting log.