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THE PRESIDENT OF MALAWI WANTS TO MAKE FARTING ILLEGAL

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Posted by abeodbart January 31, 2011 at 6:17 pm


Breaking wind is set to be made a crime in an African country. The government of Malawi plan to punish persistent offenders ‘who foul the air’ in a bid to ‘mould responsible and disciplined citizens.’

But locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult – and may lead to miscarriages of justice as ‘criminals’ attempt to blame others for their offence. One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: ‘My goodness. What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus?

‘And how about at meetings where it is difficult to pinpoint ‘culprits’?

‘Children will openly deny having passed bad air and point at an elder. Culturally, this is very embarrassing,’ she said.

Another said: ‘We have serious issues affecting Malawians today. I do not know how fouling the air should take priority over regulating Chinese investments which do not employ locals, serious graft amongst legislators, especially those in the ruling party, and many more.’

Via BusinessMail

COMMENTS
January 31, 2011 at 6:19 pm
zoe says:

HAHAHAHA!!!!! nice pic!!! also, who would make farting illigal???


January 31, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Mark says:

*farts like there’s no 2moro*


January 31, 2011 at 6:21 pm
ritakml says:

This is hilarious!


January 31, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Kristian says:

Well, I must say I’m blown away. This is a wind-up, surely?
:D


January 31, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Kes says:

Wow. Just…wow.

My Dad got thrown out of Malawi many years ago for calling the President an a***hole. Seems he was closer to the truth than we thought…


January 31, 2011 at 6:35 pm

What will the punishment be? to prevent a crime scene it may be a ‘cork’ situation. Social gatherings and banquets will have to be heavily guarded/patrolled. Someone will have to invent the mythical liquid that was said to be in swimming pools if one wee’d in them, but the burning question.. (scuze pun) is…. What will they do about dogs?..


January 31, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Joel says:

This is crazy, how can you stop someone from farting? That’s like charging for oxygen to breathe, surely?!


January 31, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Peachey says:

….Well that’s Malawi off my trip list then, in fear of becoming a criminal. Will they next ban cabbage, sprouts and beans? Can’t imagine many Malawians will have houseguests either. Or perhaps it will work the opposite way and they’ll start having wind-breaking social gatherings..or ‘Farty Parties’


January 31, 2011 at 6:46 pm
Clare says:

Very amusing story!!


January 31, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Melika says:

Lol.

Also, off topic, loving the new style of CAPTCHA Code :)


January 31, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Francis says:

Will the be courts be allowed to employ the defence of ‘whoever smelt it dealt it’…?


January 31, 2011 at 7:49 pm
A.M. says:

Wow! Really? So, what happens when the president breaks his own law? Is he going to lead by example?


January 31, 2011 at 7:50 pm
roz says:

the combination of this article & that picture just left me breathless…fortunately! :D


January 31, 2011 at 7:56 pm
George says:

I used to work with a woman who would fart while having a conversation with you and not be aware she was doing it. And it wasnt quiet. I believe she used it as punctuation. To be honest though her arse spoke more sense than her mouth.

Does this law cover animals or just humans. What if a dog farts near you and you get pinned with the crime. Do they compare fart samples to ensure they have arrested the right perp? or should that be parp.


January 31, 2011 at 8:07 pm
A.M. says:

Ah, I just read the Business Insider article and it talks about public expulsion of gas. http://www.businessinsider.com/malawi-farting-illegal-2011-1


January 31, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Danny says:

Brilliant! You’ve gotta love the craziness in this world. I have to wonder how many dogs are going to be framed for the illegal passing of gas?


January 31, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Ruth L says:

This story has a nasty whiff to it.


January 31, 2011 at 9:15 pm
Bex says:

Quite possibly the funniest headline I have seen in a long time. It’s been a long day in work so I thought is check derrens blog and cheer my self up, it has worked I will be laughing myself to sleep!!! :) Xx


January 31, 2011 at 10:41 pm

Well I’m guessing Derren darling that means you, me and Andy Nyman won’t be going anywhere near Malawi any time in this lifetime then :P hahaha

If we did then surely we’d be flung in jail for life hahaha.

Hope you’re well sir fartalot lol :D


January 31, 2011 at 10:43 pm

That is amazing hahahahaha, so ridiculous. Good luck with that! If you thought this was funny check out this article on my site… http://www.unsolicitedamerica.com/2011/01/when-is-the-right-time-for-the-first-time%E2%80%A6/ definitely relates. If you enjoy what you see make sure to read the others and look for us on facebook! Thank you.


January 31, 2011 at 11:09 pm
Andrew says:

“locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult”

that’s easy actually, the rule is “whoever smelt it, dealt it”

you know, trying to shift the blame haha


January 31, 2011 at 11:18 pm
Rose says:

About time. Just told my fiance.


February 1, 2011 at 10:22 am
Flapjack says:

I hear the counter argument for “whoever smealt it dealt it” from the prosecution bench is “those who said the rhyme, did the crime”


February 1, 2011 at 11:23 am
Ross Buttetworth says:

Discusting!

No, not the passing of wind… The government that are put in a position to lead NOT rule!

I think they SHOULD make it a crime! Why not?!? Also they should make the sentence 500 years in prison, again why not? It’s no more rediculous!
I can’t believe that a subject such as ‘farting’ even gets discussed in such detail by a goverment! WTF is the world cOming to xD


February 1, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Fearglic says:

Should be made a crime but only after 8 pints of Guinness!!


February 1, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Francis says:

@ flapjack

Damn! Thought I had an airtight defence there…

What if you follow through? Surely it doesn’t count as a fart if you poo your pants


February 1, 2011 at 10:02 pm
Kelsey says:

Not going to lie…..this did make me giggle XD


February 2, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Suzi Anderson says:

Having lived in Malawi as a child (my Father was a Bank Manager back in the good old days when Malawi was a country that was rich in all sorts of ways which it still is except money of course, but thats anothe story altogether) I have to be thankful that we no longer live there. I would be a regular in the courts I hate to say. Ok too much information, but hey, its only natural, even the Queen does it apparently LOL!!!! Anyway, I put it down to my poor eating habits. I am polite though, only done in private and even then I say pardon!!! Just wouldnt like a job in the Fart Police though not a job for weak stomachs!!!!


February 3, 2011 at 8:56 am
Arvin Mendoza says:

Hahaha. . .that’s fucking ridiculous!! LMAO. . .i don’t often fart but i would if i’m in malawi, u knw, just to mock the government ‘coz of their foolishness!


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