Bradford and Sunderland’s First Night
Bradford boasts one of the finest Waterstones in the whole U of K, and it was a treat to tuck myself right up inside it for a hot choccy and a bally good read. St George’s Hall is a lovely, cramped and creaky old place, but sadly not quite suitable for the show, which looked far from its best. (Many of the important bits and pieces the theatre were supposed to provide were not in place, so I imagine we may switch venues next time we play Bradford).
The audience was definitely not a theatre-savvy one (plenty of getting up to go to the loo and so on), so I caught myself glaring uncharitably at some offenders who were shattering the atmosphere for the audience at the wrong moments by noisily getting up and squeezing past people in their row. Such things don’t affect me on stage, but it’s infuriating to put all the work into the show and then have a few people spoil it for large blocks of the audience by treating it like casual TV watching. You have my permission to throw your drinks at these people if they annoy you. Rant over.
Despite this gripe, the shows were fun. It feels like a very intimate venue and everything went well enough. The audiences were comparatively quiet but I enjoyed both nights.
Went to see Clash of the Titans on the second day, which, despite its infuriating confusion of mythologies (Arabic Djinns? In Ancient Greece?), and re-envisioning Acrisius as Perseus’ father (to presumably help work in the now exhausted Hollywood father/son reconciliation cliché), I enjoyed a little more than Jennie and Iain, who are deeply devoted to the original. Performances not great, but it feels affectionately done and there are some fun sequences to keep it from dragging. For whatever my thoughts are worth on the subject: which is next to nothing.
The huge Sunderland Empire gave us a great first night: still a few boisterous and incontinent audience members but a fun show. It’s a tall place: the people up in the balcony must have been suffering from all sorts of vertiginous nasal hemorrhaging. My microphone died on me and Coops came out to fix me up with a new one, while the audience watched, presumably convinced it was part of the show for some reason. Apologies to any of you for that. Keeps us all on our toes, though.
About to head off for tonight’s extravaganza. What japes. If you’re coming, have a little wee first. Cos we’re now not letting you back in if you go out…
x
I completely agree about people getting up and down during the show. It’s just not cricket.
No worries about the mic, Derren, we were just chilling. xD Thanks for an awesome show, and prancing your coat tails back near us in row O.
I enjoyed the show (Bradford first night), quiet and contemplative perhaps we were.
I really wish I’d managed to drag others along, a. I could have stayed on stage longer and b. ‘cos now I can’t talk with anyone about the bits I want to in case I spoil it if they get a chance to go elsewhere or when(if?) the show comes out on tv/dvd.
Enjoy the rest of the tour!
It IS annoying when people get up etc, during a show. As a member of the audience I always end up finding myself watching THEM rather than the show itself, always wondering where they’re going or what they’re doing etc. During one show at Crawley a couple actually got up & left and never returned. The show had only been on 15 mins or so. I couldn’t quite believe that, it was quite rude.
Good luck with tonight’s show at Sunderland Derren, hopefully no equipment failure this time….. 😉
Take care
LC x
I can’t believe you were in Bradford and I didn’t know about it. I really should stay on top of these things!
“About to head off for tonight’s extravaganza. What japes. If you’re coming, have a little wee first. Cos we’re now not letting you back in if you go out…”
I wish I could adopt that policy in my training sessions – I am forever waiting for people to return before I can move on to a new point…
Sarah x
I’m from Bradford and all I can say is …. what more did you expect? Haha although the waterstones is amazing!
I’ll have you know, you were so captivating, at no point did my bowels play any part that night. up in the dress circle, we loved it! Don’t mistake quietness for anything other than awe, we were collectively amazed!
Can’t wait to see you again. Top work DB.
I was at sunderland last night and shamefully one of the incontenents!!!! I can’t help it, once I start thinking ‘I really shouldn’t go’ ‘I can’t go now’ I need to go! Haha! Amazing show, just fantastic! Always so fabulously put together and interlinked! Can’t wait for the next one!
I second the rant about incontinent audience members, we had a few in front of us (Sunderland) but tried not to let it distract us from your wizardry.
As for the show, well, amazing! Thank you once again, it was an absolute pleasure to finally see you in the flesh and bones. Also, thanks for braving the windy backstreets of Sunderland to come and meet us afterwards, you’re a star!
Hope to see you again soon, when I’m down London in the summer maybe you would like to meet for a coffee and some idle chit chat… Just a thought :-p
Lots of love. x
engima was brilliant
i saw the show on sunday
i know what you mean about people going to the toilet :/
was great meeting you after the show 😀
x
Oh P.S… Did you know that Sid James suffered a heart attack during a performance in 1976 at the Empire and died on the way to hospital… 😉
Perhaps you could throw some frisbees at the ones ruining it for others? Or arrange for rotten fruit to be hurled at them from the balcony…they need to be taught a lesson! Can’t wait to see you again in May! x
Too bloody right, Derren! Leicester has a wonderful new theatre called Curve and, whilst it’s producing some wonderful shows, the experience the last few times we’ve attended has been unfortunately marred by people who can’t manage to spend an hour without rustling sweet and crisp wrappers, talking at normal volume to their friends about what’s happening onstage, rattling ice and/or dropping plastic cups, texting, taking toilet breaks etc. AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!! It’s not telly & it’s not a bloody tuck shop, it’s a live performance that others have paid good money to watch and that people are working their arses off onstage to perform. I took my parents to see “The Woman In Black” and had some schoolboy prick behind us telling his mates what was about to happen, thereby ruining it.
Waterstones?…sounds lovely and odd…ok, google…
Lolled at the ”still a few boisterous and incontinent audience members” comment…
Good on you though… just let it be known
xx
Not only were a few members of Bradford’s Weak Bladder Club in the audience, but a few members of the Can’t Be Bothered To Turn Up On Time Society were also in attendance. Two of them were sat on my row on Sunday night. If you’re reading this, please buy a watch and learn to tell the time.
The show was fantastic and I absolutely loved it. I nearly died of embarrassment when I was asked to stand up during part of the show, particularly when all the lights in the auditorium were lit so everyone could see! But a great night was made even better when you signed my book and also my mum’s ticket as she couldn’t make it to the show. It was really great to meet you and I hope you do come back to Bradford again (maybe try the Alhambra theatre next time!).
Thanks for a great night!
Vicki x
Quite right about the Bradford pissers! It was really pissing me off! Can’t people hold their bloody bladder for more than an hour? Pathetic.
I managed to block it out eventually tho – still enjoyed the show hugely 🙂
Why not play in Leeds instead?
simon and i had a great time at the empire last night. and then we went to see derren’s show! boom boom. no seriously, apart from the entire row of skinheads sat in front of us who needed to pee every thirty seconds, it was a great night of entertainment: sort of madcap mentalism meets american history x. at one point in the proceedings, a frisbee flew perilously close to where i was sat. had i lept up, scalded cat-like, i am sure i could have scooped it up. however, with hindsight i am glad i didn’t: ***SPOILER REMOVED*** – it was a young crowd in that night. i was happy for someone else to bear the brunt of derren’s oap ribbing. and we even got the parking for free with it being a bank holiday! go see enigma! ‘urine’ for a great night!
but…what if i hafta poo??? :0
LH&S,
roz
I watched in Sunderland last night and I think its made me more of a fan! I had an amazing night! Looking forward to your book!!
🙂
My friend lauren went to go see enigma yesterday, and im going tomorow. She said it was amazing.
I wouldnt expect any less 🙂 hahaa
***SPOILER REMOVED*** Quality!
Went to the sunderland show last night it was actually amazing but actually screamed with at some peoples weak bladders. The show was still amazing though and i especially liked the ending! x
I saw the show last night at Sunderland, and I was sat behind one of the boisterous and incontinent people, which was a bit annoying. The show was amazing though 🙂
Ohh, and my mates were totally convinced that the mic thing was an elaborate trick, and they thought that the bit at the start where you got a papercut was planned as well … I wasn’t convinced 🙂
I thought the Bradford show on Sunday night was brilliant; even though you say the hall didn’t suite the show and it wasn’t up to it’s best, it was still fantastic!! I can’t imagine how good it is when it is at it’s peak. As everyone probably says, I have no idea how you do same of the tricks and will be puzzling over them for quite a while.
x
I was terribly annoyed by some incontinent audience members in front of us (Sunderland). Some big burley guys who sat and consumed a heck of a lot of beer. I wish I’d thought to throw a drink at them, but alas, I had none. I did very loudly shush them though! 🙂
When i saw the show I had annoying jelly bean bag rustlng idiots beside me on one side and 15 year old kids on the other nipping each other and laughing….i am coming to both edinburgh night in june again so i wil eb pouring a drink on any annoyers! where will you be staying might i ask in edin……not that i am going to try and stalk you….xxxx
Sunderland last night was a great show. We couldn’t believe the number of people who couldn’t manage an hour without dashing out to the toilets. I hope I never end up on a plane full of them, you’d never be able to get along the aisle. And I have to confess, I was convinced that the microphone was a bit of distraction that would pay off later…
This is supposed to be where I leave my comment on Derren’s show that I saw last night in Sunderland, but what can I really say except… genius! I sat on the front row of the dress circle and had a super view of all the goings-on (especially the microphone exchange, which my sister and I hotly debated the genuineness of during the interval – thank you for clarifying that for us, Derren. I knew that wasn’t your style.) I absolutely loved every single minute. My only regret is that I wasn’t as lucky as those lucky lucky people that caught a frisbee. I couldn’t believe how many people caught one and then chucked it away! Mad!
Thank you for an exhilarating night, Derren, and good luck for the rest of the tour. Maybe I’ll see you in the stalls when you’re back in Sunderland in June.
Today’s picture had me baffled for a moment then 😆 My mum jokes about bringing Tena Lady with her when she comes to see Enigma with me in two weeks… perhaps I should insist on it now 😉
I attended the show last night at the Sunderland empire and thoroughly enjoyed myself, fantastic show. Does seem a shame that a group of gentleman did decide that they wanted to get up to go to the toilet every 15 minutes, at some of the most crucial times. Somewhat annoying! Was very pleased when you said half way through that if they left they wouldn’t be let back in, but low and behold 10 minutes later they were causing a nuisance coming back to the seats again! Just hope that the staff manage it alot better there this evening so the show isn’t spoiled by anymore of these imbociles!
Fantastic show though. Will definitely be buying tickets for your next show. My Hubby jay was extremely happy to finally catch a frisby right at the back of the stalls and make his way to the stage for the final piece. The yellow frisbies are far too flimsy to reach those at the back. Keep up the good work 🙂
I must say St Georges cramped theatre was ideal from a veiwers eyes,the bits and pieces that were not in place I think were made up for in your beard being much more sexier than usual! I was very close to the mind of what I think of as a genius you have inspired me in so many ways.I know you prefer not to be adored ,I am sorry!
I would just like to say thankyou. x
Drinks being thrown over guests may occur in Glasgow. Ever heard of the Barrowlands? Being English I am able to say these people are nuts!
Missed the opportunity for the ball tube diagram as in the (other) Greatest Show on Earth.
Derren, I so agree on your rant of the up-and-down-and-into-the-lobby-and-back-again folks. The last time I saw Eddie Izzard, the couple next to me (tenth row, center) were the only two I spotted in all of the orchestra area who left and came back. And they did it twice! AND the male half of the couple was on crutches with a big cast on his foot!
When seated, they ignored Eddie to chat and kiss one another.
At least they didn’t return after the intermission (interval to you).
The nerve, yeah?
Derren you have done it again. A truly fabulous show. I was lucky enough to get picked to come on stage on the 6th of April at sunderland empire thank you very much for the memories and making my dreams come true and you were right i do feel closer than ever to him thanks again victoria
Went to the second night in sunderland at the empire was absoloutley amazing couldnt believe my eyes, first time i have been to see derren, certainly wont be the last 10/10 really had good fun.
also, i was right up at the top of the empire in the heavens, few more frisbees need to be thrown up there i was desperate to take part haha i would of ran the stair to the bottom lol
If the misplaced Djinns in ancient Greece was your biggest problem with that movie, you could probably afford to raise your standards, just a little bit.! (I found the presence of an Australian guy in Ancient Greece a lot more confusing)
The original clash of the titans scared the bejebus outta me wen i was younger…dnt wanna watch it again cos im too scared…lol….but if this new one is supposedly not as good…definitly wnt wath it..lol….
note taken:
Empty bladder before enigma..otherwise just wee on the seat…lol…
Have a lovely time in sunderland and safe journey to Milton keynes…
aww bless poor Derren it must be infuriating when things like that happen some people just have no manners & don’t know proper theatre etiquette & behaviour. *sighs*
The night in Bradofrd (the 1st night) I was in the grand tier so very high up so i didn’t see what was going on below but those behind me were getting up in groups several people coming & going, it grated on my nerves (I did still enjoy the show though mind you) I just felt it was far better when you played my hometown of Hull at least people there behaved themselves & were a far more better audience (from my perspective anyhow!!!)
There were (at the 1st bradford night) a couple of young women a couple of rows back from me that I thanked christ did not come out to the stage door to see you they were a nightmare!!
better luck with other shows Derren darling I hope they all go well
take care
see you in Blackpool next month hopefully (((hugs)))
Sunderland show was incredible. I have to say that Coops did a great job throughout the evening and Derren was a true gent in acknowledging this! By far the moat impressive show I have ever been to.
Hi Derren, we came to the sundeland show last night (Tuesday) and I just wanted to say how much we enjoyed it. As usual with anything you do. We were left open mouthed . It was a superb show and I will be encouraging everyone I know to do everything they can to see the show, apart from telling them what happened. Thanks again for an amazing time.
Whats the point in behaving like that when those people have paid good money to go to watch the show in the first place! I would imagine that you would only get the opportunity to see the live show every 2 years so why anyone would want to make noise is beyond me.. Maybe there should be a warning at the start?>
Derren… three words for you, from me.
You are awesome!
I saw you last night at the Sunderland Empire. You never disappoint and thank you for working so hard to entertain us and put your amazing shows together. I hope that one day I get picked to go up on stage! Good Luck for the rest of the shows.
x
I was at the first night in Bradford and I too was frustrated by people getting up and down to the loo all the time!
The show was just amazing though. I bored everyone when I saw you live on the last tour with how brilliant you were and am going so again this time. I am urging anyone who has never seen you live to do so as it’s just the most spectacular thing I have ever seen on stage
Saw you in crawley lucky enough no-one did that! if they did they would have the wrath of my shoe! lol
come back 🙁
Me and my mates went to see the second night at sunderland last night, it has to be one of if not the best show i’ve seen. everything was done perfectly and went off without a hitch. you must be very proud of your act after all the hard work, effort and time you’ve put into it. well done, i’ll be first in line to buy tickets for your next tour
Sounds like you had an interesting few shows. Cant wait until Saturday in MK now! First time seeing you and getting pretty excited.